sigh~~

i think~ if 'she' bcome his gf~ i think it will be better~

i dunno why juz now~ at first we are okie but suddenly....

we quarrel le~ juz bcoz of one little thing....

he call me to drink more water~ okie fine.. i go..

but when i call him rest he dun wan~

i noe he did dat is for my own good~

but i call him rest oso for his own good arr!!!

like dis oso cannot marr???

he wan me to listen to him~ okie fine!! i LISTEN~

but.. mine...  he got listen maarr???

when i angry him~ he onli will say

i will come back home early and sleep early~~ 

BLAH!!!! BLAH!!!! BLAH!!!!

all dis he oso not willing to do oso~

it makes me feel like i'm forcing him to do dat!!!!

he every time oso say dat all oso his wrong~

but actually all oso not his wrong~ is i'm de one who are wrong~

i noe sometimes i am forcing him to do de things dat he dun like~

so i am de one who wrong~

i noe all de guys oso de same~ juz wan their gf to listen to them

but they dun wan to listen to their gf~

mayb dis is wat he wan baa~ if like dat i'm sorry le~~

i cant do dat~ it seems like~

i'm getting worst and worst!!!

my last time de characteristic is back AGAIN~

if keep on like dis~ it will end very soon~~

dunno why suddenly feel dat 'she' is more suitable wit him~

but me?? i'm juz a STUPID RUBBISH!!!!!!!!

i dun think i'm suitable for him~~

de most suitable one is 'her'

'her' dream has been come true d~

'she' should be very happy baa~~

and mayb he will oso happy bcoz no one 

force him jorr larr~

haizzz~ mayb luuu~

but my heart~ is d break to pieces le~ 

is been a long time dat i dun have dis kind of feeling

after my ex.... i thought dis feeling will gone and wont come back

but actually dis feeling come back again~~ 

is juz dat nobody noe onli le~ including him~

haizz~

``i'm not suitable at all!!'

yesterday and today?? any difference??

yesterday(22/7) i dunno why after he sent me home~ 

i start to think nonsense 'AGAIN'!!!!

dis time~ more worse~ i even can think dat 'she' have fall

in love wit my MAN... i try to stop thinking nonsense~ but i cant~

and when i keep thinking... my heart is cracking to pieces~

so i start to cry... but den i stop bcoz i went to tuition~

after tuition my mood is getting better~

but.... when i suddenly saw his msg bout ...................

bully him~ i start to think nonsense jorr~

dat time~ i reali feel like wanna cry~

but i try to control it~

when i reach home... de tears burst out!!! ><

dat time i reali feel like wanted to say '_ _'

dis word to him~ but after i ask him some question

i change my mind~ den he try to advice me and tell de truth 

bout his feeling~ so i listen to him~

but......................

TODAY (23/7)

 when i reach skool and saw 'her'.. i dunno why

i feel like wanted to scold her~ but... i tell myself dat...

CANNOT...  so i when i saw 'her' i juz avoid 'her' onli~

bcoz of 'her'... my mood bcome like dis~

bcoz of 'her' i think nonsense!!!

i noe i cant blame someone dat i dunno is 'her' wrong or not~

even though i feel like 'she' wanted to take my MAN away 

from me~ but all i can do is juz be normal... dats all i can do~

when recess time~ i juz dunno wat to do~ 

i saw 'her' was like keep on finding my MAN~ 

dat time my tears reali wanted to burst out d but...

luckily i still can control it~

den when my MAN come and find me~

i can see from 'her' face dat~ 'she' is unhappy bout it~

i dunno why when i saw 'her'... i will feel like 'she' is going to 

take my MAN away from me~ i oso dunno how am i going

to face 'her'... when i saw 'her'~~ 

i juz hope 'she' wont take my MAN away from me~

and of coz i noe~ if 'she' show her 'wolf tail'... and try to

'goda saya punya LELAKI...'

mayb my MAN will fall for it~~ 

dats wat i scare now!!!! ><

i juz dun wan it to happen... dats all!!!!!!!!!!!

JUZ STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!!

``FUCK OFF!!!!``

i'm scare~~

i'm scare of many things now~ plus one of dis thing juz 

happen to one of my fren~

i reali din think dat dis kind of situation will happen~

de first time they were very sweet and lovely~

not juz dat... they d together very long le~

even though me and dear dear together le juz 2 month plus~

but i reali dun wan dis situation happen between our relationship..

some more mayb my dear next year go NS le~

juz bcoz my dear go NS i more scare le~

 i scare he will change his heart~

or mayb love other girl juz like my fren gehx bf le~ 

i juz dun wan dis to happen~

but i noe i cant control de time or his feelings~

i scare dat he will forget me~ mayb...~ 

 i scare dat he will feel boring bout me~

i scare~ i'm scare of everything~ i scare

my last time gehx characteristic come back again le~

i'm scare~ i very scare~

even though if he promise me dat he wont love

other girl or anything else~ i still very scare~

some more next year he d graduate le~

 i oso dunno how can we stay our relationship~

i dunno~~ i reali dunno wat will happen next year~

and it keeps me worry everytime~ ><

haizzz~

 will he change after graduate??

``i need you in my life~ ``

i'm sorry~~

 

 

 

sorry dear~ today dear de eye red,pain and itchy but

i wat oso cannot do~ all i can do is juz say onli~

i noe dear is not comfortable wit it~ but dear juz dun wan me to worry

onli will say dear okie de~

if dear got anything~ i juz hope dear will tell me de truth le~

if not~ i will more worry~ 

 

i noe dear sometimes is hurt and dun wan me to noe anything

bout it~ but i juz hope dear will tell me everything~

i d try my best to tell dear everything le~

but i still feel dat dear still got something haven tell me~ 

i noe sometimes guys like to hide something from girls~

but all i hope is dear is not one of those guys who 

likes to hide something from the girls~

 

i juz wanted to noe more bout dear~ if dear dun tell anything~

how can i noe or understand dear?? 

sometimes dear hide something from me~

i will start simply think d~ but i try to lied to myself dat

dear wont hide anything from me and dear oso will tell me 

everything~ but actually inside my heart is cracking~

 

i dunno wat shud i do~ even though i wanted to tell dear face 

face but.... i juz cant open my mouth~

i dunno why~ when i saw dear~ i juz feel like wanna cry~

but i din~ bcoz i cant~

i noe sometimes dear will feel dat is not fair~

bcoz i got hide something from dear and never tell dear~

so dear will feel dat~ why dear shud tell me oso plus i oso 

din tell dear

 

 is not dat i dun wan to tell dear~

sometimes i reali do wanna tell dear~ but is juz dat

i dunno how to open my mouth~ 

when we din meet each other~

i reali hope i will tell dear face to face but when we meet~

my mouth is shut~ and cant even open~

 

sometimes i reali wanna ask dear~ 

dear together wit me happy de marr??

dear together wit me will scare marr??

scare dat i will change my heart~ 

even though i did told dear dat my heart to dear will never change

but i juz can feel it dat dear inside is cracking~

i reali dun wan to see dis kind of situation to happen~

 

i juz hope something~ hope dat dear will tell me everything~

EVERYTHING~

and i will tell mine~

i PROMISE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 i'm sorry~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

``i love you!``

my frenzzz~~

today one of my fren de mood is not very good~

so i try my best to make her happy~ ^^

at last she smile~ ^^

i noe sometimes 'she' is a bit too over larr~

i juz hope dat 'u' will patient bout 'her' characteristic~

i noe 'u' and ur bf de problem make u very trouble~ but

think again baa bout wat i have talk to u le~ ^^

dis kind of things~ he oso dun wan it to happen de~

but he juz cant control it~ so i hope 'u' will think bout it le^^

if can 'u' can give ur mother noe bout it~

i hope 'u' and ur bf will back to normal soon^^

dun worry bout it le~

if 'u' explain to him d~ juz let him think bout it baa~ ^^

dun force him too much~ ><

i will bless you and him^^

``love you yuyu♥`` 

my first time~

my first time making dis kind of thing~ hahaa ><

dunno does it taste good~ hehee~

i make it bcoz one of my fren juz came back from thailand~

can say it as a small party~ hahaa~ or mayb nope~

hope everyone will like it tomolo~ ><

if not nice i hope it still can finnish~ heheee~ xDD

even though my fren complaint bout fats~

but i told her dat~ aiyooo~ wan fat den lets fat together luu~

if wan diet... diet together luuu~ hahaha~

anyway~ hope everyone of them will like it larr~~ ^^

hope you all will eat it!!!

ENJOY!!! ><

``love 4E3~``

think back~~ [9/7]

it was yesterday~ when me and my fren was at canteen

having our food~ i never think dat we will sit wit them~

de 'them' is someone dat i doesn't like~ not hate is dun like~

so~ i was like~ aiyaaa saw them so cham~

mai okie luuu~ 

but~ i never thought dat they will talk bad bout my other fren~

when i heard dat~ i was like~ beh song jorr~ 

i said to myself dat~ dis is her character~ jus let her be larr~

why u all like to talk bad bout ppl~

she like to play wit other guys bcoz she is frenly

is not dat she wan to show off or anything~

dis is how she is~ u all cant even change her~

so dun complaint so much~ if u r her fren u will noe de truth~

but juz bcoz u r not her fren dat doesn't mean dat u can talk bad 

bout her~ even though she is not pretty juz like all of u~

but inside her is more pretty den all of u!!

if u r de one who been talk bad~ wat will u all feel???

happy?? or sad???

i noe~ mayb u all have never been talk bad before~

u all dunno de feeling~ so if u wan to noe~ 

i can help u all!!!!!

i juz hope dat u all will understand de feeling of being talk bad~

HATE GOSSIPERS!!!!!!

``fuck off!!

now?? wat mood am i??

now~ i was crying and write my blog~ 

i at home all by myself~

i was thinking he would accompany me~ 

but he was together wit his frens so i was like~

is okie baaa~ but actually i'm not okie~

but i still need to let him go wit his frens

if not~ there wont be any freedon in him~

actually i should be thankful dat i still have him~

even though he is not good in many things but

for me~ he is good in everything~

juz now he said he is reading my blog~

i was very nervous bcoz i scare later he will

sad or mayb will simply think~ but den he surprise me~

he suddenly said dat he love me~ i dunno why so suddenly~

so bcoz of dis~ my tears roll down from my cheek~

i told myself dat~ de past can forget it d~ now is 

de new memories~ new memories dat awaits me~ ^^

now i feel much more better le~

all oso bcoz of his '' i love you '' ><

now all i wan is him~~ ><

dunno why my love to him deeper jorr~ 

love him so much le~ muackzz~ >< 

--> i love you <--

can't leave without you! ♥

``you're mine~ TFS♥

things in my mind today~~

dis morning~ i wake up and sms him bout my phone is d expired~

so....~ after dat i oso told him bout i'm going to de 7-11

to buy reload card~ den of coz he said okie and if i reach 7-11 tell him..

but i told myself~ my phone d expired de lerr~~ how to tell?? ==

so i when i reach 7-11 i asked de guy got digi RM 10 or not~

de guy said nope~ i was like.... O.O

OH NOOOOOOO~~  how am i going to tell him dat i d at 7-11???

i din think so much so i walk back to school~ den suddenly when

i was waiting for my turn to thumb print my phone rings~ 

i was like~ O.O againnnn!!! >< but luckily dat time got alot of ppl

talking~ so de prefect doesn't hear or notice anything bout me~

so dat was de time it makes me feel nervous~ i keep on thinking dat

is he still waiting for me??? dat time was like going to late for going in to

de hall~ i was very scare and nervous~ and feel so sorry to him 

and his frens bcoz of me~ they late~

but luckily when i went in de hall i saw his fren~~ i was like~

THANK GOD!! >< 

but my heart still feel very sorry to him and his frens~

i thought i wan to go and say sorry de~ but dunno why suddenly when 

i saw him was like very happy talking to a prefect~

my heart doesn't feel good at all~ so i din said any sorry to him~

but in class i was thinking...

dat~~ i scare one day i will like last time le~ 

i reali very scare~ ><

when recess~ actually i din think of seeing him de~

but~ he did came and look for me~ i was happy^^

but after dat~ my mood when down abit~

dunno why~ i was like think too much jorr~

actually i reali very scare my last time gehx character 

come back again le~ T^T i reali dun wan it to happen in

dis relationship~ i juz wan to be like those girl

dat will give their bf freedom and wont be small gas~

'' can i reali b like those girl??? ''

it seems like bcoz i scare dat my last time gehx characteristic

come back... i onli dun dare to put my whole heart in dis 

relationship~ bcoz i scare it will like last time~

de way i hurt de one i love de most in dis world~

de way i misunderstood him~

de way i scold him~

de way i cried in front of him~

to think back de past~ i feel so sorry~~

so i dun wan dis time gehx relationship to end like last time~

i noe~ all i can do now is to control or mayb to change myself~

but sometimes is not dat i dun wan to control~

is dat if i reali give him too much freedom~ i reali very scare

one day he will walk away from me~

and i going to be alone~ for a whole life~ 

i dun wan dis to happen~ 

even now if he said he wan to go out wit his fren~

i oso scare~ is juz dat i force myself not to think~

if not my wrist d got many line luuu~ ><

haizz~ can dis relationship will last??? 

``我爱你 TFS♥``