unknown♥

 

 so long i din update my blog juz bcoz de computer is been use 

by my brother all de time! hate it! 

dis month many things happen~

final exam still haven end...

and my class is having a party at astley house~~

hmmm~~ wonder wat will happen~~ ><

hope de party will successfully made...^^

hehehe~~ but something juz make us cant do our things properly~~

de boys in our class~~ 

MY GOODNESS!! we've been asking will they attend de party...

until now they still din give us de real answer~~ aiyoooo!!

those boys reali very ma fan lerr~~ ><

sigh........~

but still hope all of them can attend too~~ ^^v hehee~

and of coz i oso hope my dear can go oso~

but until now he still haven give me de answer... D:

sometimes... it reali makes me feel like his answer is a NO..

sigh~ i oso use to it d~

coz got once oso like dat...

sometimes i reali ask myself dat...

is my dear cannot or my dear dun wan lerr?? :/

anyway all i can do is juz hope~

hope hope hope~

: |

SPM... is end of November~

means SPM is coming very soon~ 

and means... he will graduate soon....~

still cant imagine wat will happen to us after he graduate~

and i oso juz can hope dat we wont separate~

anyway all dis thing when will happen i oso wont noe de~~

so juz let de time decide for us le~ ^^v

after his SPM exam... jus wish dat he will still treat me like always

and never change~~ 

coz i dun wan to lose him in my life anymore~ :P

``i love TFS``

my birthday coming~

my burfdae coming lurr~~

i was thinking dat there is another sad waiting for me..

every year hope dat i will have a great time for my birthday..

but... nope! but my families do give me a 'great' time...

'great' time wit full of tears... no one ever understands how i feel..

coz they have a good time wit their frens..families.. and more..

but.. all i have is scolding from my mother... EVERY YEAR!

why?? coz my birthday is an exam day..haha!

my fren told me dat she juz celebrate once onli for her burfdae..

but.. when i think bout mine... 

i more worst.. 

every time my birthday comes... i noe it will be full of DISASTERS..

full of tears...not happy tears.. but is sad tears.. haha! funny~

all those bad memories reali makes me hate my birthday very much..

if my frens told their frens bout my birthday... i dun reali like it..

coz i will think back de past..

not happy at all~~

i remember last year my birthday is de last day of PMR..

i thought i can be happy.. but....

no..

i thought my ex would accompany me for my birthday but...

he went to cc and play DOTA wit his STUPID FRENS!!!

all dis bcome a nightmare to me..

i thought he will wish me..

but nope... nothing.. juz.... SILENCE......

i wont ask for more for my birthday...

as long as they have de heart to remember it... den i d very happy~

but last year reali gives me a nightmare...

before i went to school in de morning..

my mom scolded me for not eating breakfast onli...

den my mom 'fat lan jar' and throw all de things in to basin 

and went in to de room...

of coz.. i go cleaned everything wit my tears rolling down..

and den luckily my sis help me wit it.. 

so dat i can sit for de exam.. 

wat a nightmare!!

actually i asked myself dat is de past my birthday present??

hmmm... mayb~

now i was thinking wat will gonna happen to me when my 

birthday comes...

hmmm~~ mayb another nightmare awaits me~

wat can i do??? 

all i can do is wait for another nightmare comes...

  SADNESS/TEARS is my birthday present!

``NOTHING BUT SADNESS IN ME``

28/9 First Time♥

is my first time seeing him crying so badly...

hurting so badly... 

whenever i saw him like this... my tears roll down...

when i saw him hurt... my heart will pain too..~

is my fault seeing him being like this.. i make him become like this...

everything is my fault!!

if is not bcoz of me... i wont see him crying so badly in front of me..

hurt so badly in front of me... 

i noe his feeling.. bcoz i have tried b4...

dis feeling was like something or a knife keep on stabbing ur heart...

i understand... but SO WHAT!!! 

there is a wound in his heart now... how can it be heal???
feel sorry to him... i thought i can do better to make him happy..
but i dun think is working... 
i make him worry all de time...~~
he treat me so good but de way i treat him...
is not good enough...
how can i do to improve myself???
i reali dun wan to see dis happening again~~
it reali breaks my heart to piecesss...
if i keep on like dis...
i noe one day he will leave me...
i reali dunno wat to do to make him happy...
i tried my very very best.. but i still make him upset..
wat to do??
i noe he is giving me chances... and i am trying to appreciate it..
i hope i wont repeat it again...
dis is de first and de last time~~
coz i've promise him...
wish i can do it...
wish i can treat him better..
wish i wont hurt him so badly anymore~~
wish our relationship will last long.. until the end of our life..


sorry my dear~ i have promise you dat i wont do it again
and i promise i try my best to make u happy...
and wont hurt you or make you feel sad~
i promise my dear~~ i SWEAR! 
























i'm sorry!

``i promise!``