Lonely without you~

寂寞~

 means lonely... 

actually u dun even understand how i feel~

i explain but u still dun get it..

all i noe now u juz concentrate in ur tuition and studies..

i noe SPM is coming... 

i noe u need to study for SPM...

and i noe u need to work hard for dis exams...

i noe is important..

and i noe u r working.. and u r tired after working and

after tuition... u need to rest... or sleep...

sometimes i juz feel dat our relationship shudn't start so early..

mayb.. mayb i think too much.. but i cant help and i cant stop..

i every time think bout u... and hope for something...

but i noe it wont happen..

but i still hope for it... 

and de result is... hurting myself...

and hide around de corner and cry...

u dun understand at all~~

 u called me to tell u everything... okie fine...

i told u.. but u got try to understand marr???

today... the way u treat me reali makes me feel like

u dun care bout me at all...

haizz...stay at home hope for something dat wont happen..

reali makes me feel very empty and lonely...

u noe i at home feel lonely marr?? u dunno at all...

i told u dat i at home very sienzz u call me go study..

after study ler?? DO WAT ARR???

i everything oso do b4 le... wat u still wan me to do at home???

i reali feel like wan to jump out from dis building...

i sit at home like sit inside a jail...

where oso cannot go...

if i alone go out... u will scold me.. u will say me..

so wat to do??? mai stay at home lurr...

haizz...sometimes i think i shouldn't tell u how i fell..

if i tell.. u will feel annoying and it will make u cant concentrate in ur studies..

plusss u now so gan jiong wan study for SPM...

so if i reali got anything...

i think i will keep it inside...

after ur exam... i onli tell baa...

if not it will affect ur studies... i dun wan dis kind of things happen..

so... if u wanna blame.. dun blame ur self.. but me..

all de things dat u r doing... and de way u treat me..

i wont blame u...

but... sometimes... my frens ask me... holiday worr...

din go anywhere marr???

i will answer... no and no money...

my fren will ask again... ur bf lerr??? he din bring u out marr???

i think for awhile...and said... he is working...

actually... my heart is cracking...

dunno why... mayb bcoz i noe de truth baa...~~

at home so lonely without u...

wat to do??? all i can do is think think think...

haizzzzz.... 

hope u wont noe anything baa... juz continue to concentrate in ur studies le..

gambateh le...

Lonely Without You~

``Lonely all the time``

unknown title

de way when u said u wanted together... i have told u dat i dun wan..

juz bcoz i noe de answer after together wit u.. but u dunno...

but now de truth is d in front of you.. u can say i very small gas..

u can say i very easily jealous... anything... but all dis is bcoz of wat??

my love to you!!!!

i love you too deep d~~

juz bcoz i love you too deep... i onli bcome like dis...

so... now i nid to avoid u from doing good to me...

juz to avoid all dis being happen...

i simply think bcoz i'm scare...

i scared ma fan u...

i scared u will waste ur money... juz bcoz of me..

i scared dat ur love to me will fade away..

i scared de things dat i do will hurt u..

i'm scared... scared of so many things..

i noe juz bcoz of all dis it makes u hurt alot...

i noe it hurts.... 

all i can do now is to say sorry and to avoid u....

can i do dat??? i dunno...

mayb it will hurts me alot but for u.. u will feel better...

i juz wan to make u feel better....

hiding my feelings away and hurting myself...

hmmmmmm.... mayb i deserve it to be hurt... 

now skool holiday 2 weeks... and i keep thinking dat...

we would see each other...

but i'm wrong... we dun even have dat chance to see each other..

u r working... and i'm at home.. 

all i can do is wait and wait and wait and wait 

for de time comes... but.... 

de things dat u have told me... reali makes me feel dat 

i d dun have de hope to wait... juz bcoz of dis i feel like...

we wont see each other not even once....

i reali do feel disappointed....

i noe one day u will read dis~~

and u will ask... why i din tell u...

i dun wan to tell u is bcoz i dun wan u to be hurt...

i wan myself to hurt oso dun wan u to be hurt...

and if i reali tell u d... wat can u do???

u told me b4 dat u will do the things i wan if u reali can do it...

but all dis u oso cannot do... wat for i still wan u to think so much...

plus... i dun wan to force u... if not... later  u will be hurt le...

i juz dun wan u to be hurt juz bcoz of me...^^

mayb u will say dat i'm stupid...

i admit dat i'm stupid... 

juz as i d told u dat... i can do everything [including stupid things] for u...

juz bcoz i love you...~~

i can feel dat.. it wont be long....

is juz see dat when will it happen...

mayb is time for u to decide whether u wan to continue or not..

and now... i need to wait again... for ur answer...~~

mayb 95% u will choose......... 5%............

any decision u make... i respect.. so...

de answer is in ur hand... man man think baa~~

i'm waiting........

not too long...........

  ``我爱你``