Disappointed to myself? *Hate ME!*

Cry, when nobody else is watching / Smile, when everybody is watching :')

" A FAKE SMILE CAN HIDE A MILLION TEARS "

Form 6 life is much more tougher than what I think it will be.

I thought that I can handle it with no problem but after some time..

I felt that form 6 life makes me very stress in everything I do.

Around me, there are some of my friends they get good grade in their SPM exam 

last year and I feel that I'm actually just nothing to them.

Honestly, I'm jealous of their grades and their cleverness.. is that

they can last minute do revision and get good marks for the test! 

Why can't I do that?! 

I'm so stupid! 

No matter what I have studied, my marks are still the same.

I do not know why people can do it but I can't!

I feel so tension when I see my friends did so good in their exam

I really can't accept myself!

I feel like crying but I don't wanna cry in front of my classmates..

because the me that they've know is very cheerful and like to smile always!

But actually my heart feels awful.

" I'm sorry that I put on a fake smile most of the time but sometimes, my smile is real "

Many things happen this year especially at school.

I do not know when only I can cope with the others and this form 6 life.

Thought of stopping but my mum sure will feel very very disappointed

because actually this is what she want me to do.

Sigh! I feel so 'heavy' inside now. How can I release it?

I'm very tired of everything in school and studies!

Besides putting on a fake smile, what can I still do?

Silence is a girl's LOUDEST CRY.

Sometimes I do wanna cry out loud but that feeling is very hard 

to come out. Plus, I do not want my friends to know the weakness in me.

I have cried once on the first day of my form 6 life at MBSSKL. 

2 of my friends from other classes saw me cried before. From

that day on wards I told myself to be strong but until now,

I still feel that I am weak! WHY?

I'm tired! 

Why can't life just go on smoothly?

It makes me feel like wanna go for suicide. LOL!

But that's not the solution. THIS IS THE PROBLEM! 

I've heard this song from the radio.

The lyrics of this song suits me cause 'It's always a good time' :)
This song reminds me that no matter what I do, I can do it and face with a smile!.

Try listen, maybe you will love it! :)

I wrote this is because I know blog is a place where I can express my feelings to readers.
I know some may thought that is actually a small little thing but the problem is how it feels like.
That feeling makes me hard to breathe cause I can feel the heaviness in it.

I hope the coming exam will be much more better! I cannot fail anymore! 

If I fail, I need to pay and retake the test in Sem. 3 it will be much more tougher.

This time must concentrate in studies and cannot play and go dating so often if not 

my marks will be the same :/

Anyways, hope God will bless me and guide me in this narrow road :)

SMILE! :D 

No matter what happen, 

Fake or Real,

Good or Bad,

Sad or Happy,

 all we have to do is SMILE through it! :)

``Smile Through Everything``

BFF? :')

What does BFF means?

Best Friend Forever.

I've learned something in this blog.

It wrote out the words that is deep inside my heart.

V

V

V

http://taciturn-dimwit.blogspot.com/2011_03_01_archive.html

The problem that She wrote is a bit similar to mine.

I agreed the title that She wrote ;.

Diamond's aren't Forever, so do Promises.

I super LOVE this sentence!

It reminds me of my friendship.

At first I really thought our friendship can be forever

just like true SISTERS does.

But, whenever the quarreled start between us,

I know that our friendship will never last.

Plus, we've been friends for 4 years.

From the day we started to be close to each other,

we really said that we will be best friends, 

maybe more than best friends which is sisters.

But, what she has done and said to me

really makes me sad. 

Whenever she face any difficulties, me and my other 

friend will be there for her.

If she did something wrong we will be 

there to correct her and advise her.

I thought after I forgive and forget

everything will be okay.

But No.

Now, she were like doesn't want to be with us.

The feeling that she gave me is that she don't need me

and my friend.

I know she have many friends

and if she don't have me this one friend is okay

cause I know outside there still got many friends 

better than me.

But I am not a perfect friend. I did wrong too and I still 

need people's advice. But,

 did she know that all the hard time that she had been through

is with who.

We've been friends for 4 years not 4 months!

I admitted that I said something which very hurtful to her

but I really very tired.

I'm tired of advising her anymore and I'm tired of 

correcting her anymore cause what I said and what I do 

she will never listen and 

she will never do but is okay!

I know the way I wrote in Facebook is wrong

but some of the thing I wrote is that wrong too?

Not all is correct but maybe some are correct. 

If she really decides don't want to be close to me anymore

I'm okay with it, because if we did maybe we will never 

hurt each other anymore. 

Cause I know she still got some friends that

can always make her smile, but not me.

Friends that she can always tell all her secrets to, but not me

and friends that can count on every time when she is down

and need help, but not me.

I hope the friend that she had now will always

take care of her and will always remind her to do things

correctly cause I will never be the one who do that anymore.

Maybe all this while all the things I did is wrong :')

But is okay.

Take care my friend! :)

``Best Friend Forever did not exist in my life but Long Lasting Friendship``

1st of December 2011 ♥

December Holiday! [Holicember!] ;)

Good Morning reader's! :D

Today is the 1st of December! :) 

Everybody is having holiday but me? :(

My exams still haven end yet. After today (means later need to go exam), still left 2 more.

I wanna freedom!! FREEDOM!! 

Actually time do past very fast cause just like Chinese people said

"Just a blink of eye" and now is the end of the year! 

Later Christmas will be here and then, later..

everybody celebrate NEW YEAR!! :)

Year of 2012 is coming!!! :D

The End of The World?!! O.O

Nnnyyyaaahhh~! All is in God hands.

So, No worries babes! ;)

After this year, I will never ever going back to school anymore

but going to College.  

I miss my school life with my SISTERS! 

When we are in our College life we will be separate and less contact 

each other! :( 

Sad! :'(( 

How I wish that we can stay in our school life for LIFE!

Sigh! Anyway, life still need to move on and we still have a lot of 

things need to learn in this coming days.

So, do pray to God that everything will go smoothly! ;)

Need to go now! :) Continue another time! :D

Chhaaoo! Babyss! :)

``Cherish Every Moment!``

What Is Love? It is a God promises ♥

Love is Patience,

Love is Kind.

It does not Envy,

It does not Boast,

It is not Proud.

It is not Rude,

It is not Self-Seeking,

Its is not easily Angered,

It keeps no Record of Wrongs.

Love does not delight in Evil but

Rejoices in Truth.

It always Protects,

Always Trusts,

Always Hopes,

Always Perseveres.

Love Never Ends ♥

It reminds me about my past.

I felt so stupid.

All the stupid things that I've done.

I keep thinking why am I that stupid?

Stupid until I cut my own self! -oo-

Just because I like that guy??

When I think back, it is not worth it at all to be like that

because I should love myself first before loving others.

This is what I've learned :)

I will never ever become that stupid anymore!

If I did, I will bang my head to the wall xD

Man, is not the one that holds my life in their hand.

The one who holds it is God, our Father in heaven. 

I should love Him first before others :D 

and I shall treasure this life that He had gave me 

and love Him with all my Heart! :')

♥

``Love Never Ends``

New Blog! ;D

YEAH! At last I definitely has updated my blog!

It's very simple I know, but simple is nice! :)

Hope ya'll readers will love it! 

it's been 9 months that I never even touch my blog! 

Now I'm sitting for SPM exams and I'm so free to update my blog now

but not spend the time for studying :P

In this 9 months, there are too many things that had happened

to me.

Especially in friendship!

Now, I think everything has already settle, maybe.

Is okay, If it's not or haven settle I also need to move on! :)

Anyway, as long as me and my friends didn't do something that 

will hurt each other, everything will be fine :3

Need to go to sleep now.

Mummy mumbling already! >_<

Nitez! 

``Good Night!`` 

Busy and Fun February! :D

CNY Spring Festival Celebration

Pheewwww!~ 

at last everything has ended!! ^^

and the month of February is going to end too! ><

what a busy month! ^^

Luckily I didn't fall sick before the performance~ ><

if not I really don't know what will happen to our dance! hehehe~!

Before the CNY Spring Festival Celebration...

all of us keep on practicing and practicing~~ 

@@ 

TIRED larr wehhhh! ><

some more need to sit for exams! 

STRESSS!!! ><

but now everything is over including my examss! WOOOOHHOOO!!! :DD

but I stress until my pimples also come out already! ><

hahaha!~ 

pai sehh! ><

but anyway... all of us do great in the performance~ ^^

still Love it even though our outfit is not that nice! ><

hehehe! 

GREAT JOB for me and all my friends~! ^^

Mwarkss! ♥

`` Dancing! ``

Words In my Heart♥

Actually today I can be very happy! 

but something makes me really very unhappy 

and some more very hurt!

I can see that you are not happy with it actually....

hmmm... Sometimes I really feel like asking...

is our picture that ugly?? 

If it is than why you still wanna keep it?

to make me feel happy about it?

yeaa~ Is true last time I really do hope that we can take many nice picture

It happened but you're not happy at all with the picture..

I don't know why???

Does it make you feel shame about it??

and some more you purposely to put the picture back...

I was like thinking...

If you do all this to make me happy only 

than no need... I don't need you to lie to me about your feelings..

If you don't like to do anything than just tell me...

Is true that I will be hurt but for you I'm okay with it.

Maybe for other girls or boys they think that I'm crazy!

but I feel hurt! VERY HURT!

You know why??

I don't think you know~ 

Yaa... Inside your heart you will say that you hurt a lot also...

but I was trying my best to be more better than before..

I was trying not to be last time... 

I'm trying my very best!

I know outside there are much more girl which is better than me

I know I can't become them... all I can do is improve myself!

Improve myself all for YOU!

YOU!

YOU!

YOU!

every time I wanted to do something or asked something...

I will think about your feelings first..

If it will make you unhappy... I will not do it or say it!

I will keep inside my heart!

You called me to tell everything...

You think I don't want to tell you everything??

I really hope I really can tell you everything... but..

Just because I care about your feelings I only didn't tell you about my feelings.

All I want is to see you happy!

That's all!!

I do all this is hope that our relationship will last.

I really don't hope that our relationship end like this~

even though it's suffer a lot but I will still do it just because of YOU~!

 ^

 ^

 ^

 ^

Hmmm... Does it look very ugly??

hmm~ just the edit only looks ugly because we need to be fast!! ><

hehehe! :D

Is happy that we have took this picture.

If you don't like it than give it to me.. I'll keep it properly luu~ :D

``All Because of LOVE!``